Taking Care of Mum

Each age carries its own blessings and challenges.  At the moment my girls are 12 and 15 years old.  They are continually fighting and sometimes getting along well.  I'm living with Jekyll and Hyde.  The eldest is also dating or dating again the same guy, someone the youngest disapproves of after listening through their shared bedroom wall to their fights and her sister's tears.  Yet, she finds time to recognize when I'm dragged out or feeling down. 

Yesterday was one of those difficult days.  The walk in clinic with her for flu shots and orthopedics referral was easy.  Canadian Tire for house organizing and lighting supplies was simple enough.  Giant Tiger for groceries was far more difficult.  We even did price comparison on laundry detergent; which was the lowest cost (6 cents for no name, 19 cents for tide/load).  Paying was the problem.  Living pay cheque to pay cheque on a regular basis is worsened by the financial demands or expectations of the expensive Christmas season.  I really wish it wasn't so commercialized.  Well, I didn't have enough to pay for our cart full of groceries.  It took about half an hour to take some from this account, some from savings, some from Taylor's account, some cash in my wallet, etc.  Thankfully we didn't have to walk away nor put anything back.  But it was embarrassingly humbling.  And as we're leaving the store, a table is set up as a fund raiser, lotto ticket Christmas trees.  Sorry, I can't help you.

When we got home, Kenzie told me to go downstairs and relax, do some scrapbooking.  Then she put away the groceries, cooked a frozen pizza, thawed a frozen cake, and brought me down my supper: slice of  chocolate cake, two slices of thick rising pizza, ice tea, and a bottle of wine.  :)  She had it covered.  Sometimes hugs come in the form of acts of service.  Sometimes what we give to others, comes back to us when we need it most.

23 November 2017

"My friends think it's weird that I want to do things with my mother. And I can talk to you like I talk to my friends. "

Maybe I did something right.

Wise Advice

My youngest and I were preparing to face our days and chatting in my small bathroom. As I brushed my hair of its bedhead knots I asked, "Kenzie do you think I should let my grey grow out or keep dying my hair?"
"Let it grow out. It's part of you. It's just like you say, puberty is part of who we are and how we change, your grey hair is part of you and how you've changed."
Now why hasn't anyone put that positive light on it before. Becoming an adult and growing up is a victory yet society tends to view growing old or continuing to grow up as something to hide, to deny.
"Wise words" I told her.
"I'm just being like you."

Pillow talk the other night with my youngest sort of went like this, "Mom, of you were tested to see what faction you belonged to, you'd be divergent." (This being birthed from the book Divergent."

"Oh?  Why is that?"

"Because you're smart, caring, and strong."

:-)

March 2015

Investing in Our Future

I took my girls camping this weekend past and was so proud of them.  They helped to pack the car so it was all done in under an hour instead of the 2 plus it would take me.  When we arrived there was little discussion yet they chose not to go to the playground or wander off but to set up camp.  The tent, bedding, bags, etc. were all set up and organized - including the laying out of our pajamas by my youngest and the mattresses inflated by my eldest - in an hour.  I've also jaded them to the point where they point out and make fun of the lady campers in white clothing and wedge shoes applying makeup in the washrooms.  And the kids not getting exercise riding their motorized scooters and children's electric cars.  My girls are awesome!

I Never Figured

I have gone on most of my girls field trips.  When my eldest was in grade two we went to the Maritime museum of the Atlantic.  I felt I was a disappointment to my daughter when I didn’t have any money to buy our group treats. Other parents had brought chips or candy to share and one parent bought candy sticks for their group from the gift store.  Two years later with the younger child, I brought money and bought shark tooth necklaces.  This year I buy salt water taffy and hematite rings.I wasn't prepared for the ten minute lecture about how I was embarassing because it looked like I was trying to buy favour.  And I was wasting money.  My how times have changed.

New Friend

Well after 2 years and 9 months of separation, my ex has had a couple of new friends (that my girls know of). They have commented that it is awkward to walk into the living room and find dad and his "new friend" cuddling. I wonder how much should be explained to our 9 and 11 year old girls. I know the youngest says the new friend is my twin, fun and friendly, and she has envisioned a future with a two story house instead of the log home if daddy were to re-marry. Mind you, I asked her what she would think if I had a new friend and the first thing she said was, "I don't want you to get engaged." I don't think she has any worries. I'm in no rush to do that again. Been there. Done that. I asked her what my new friend should be like. Her forth-right response was this: he must love animals and wild children, be a little fat like you, like camping, and not be too old (in his 50's) not too young (in his 30's).

No Offense, Mom But...

Rushing around the other morning trying in our usual chaotic way of getting ready for school on time, my youngest pipes up, "No offense, mom, but I know a lot of crazy people and you are the craziest." I don't think of that as an insult in any way. Why be normal? Normal is boring.

The Doctor Told Daddy

The car conversations continue... Taylor announced the other day, "I like going to Daddy's better now. We don't have to bring wood in any more because the doctor told daddy he needs to get some exercise. He brings in all the wood now." This led into a conversation around how things are after the separation as in "Daddy doesn't have a wife to do things for him now so he buys pizza instead of making it."

One or Two Children?

Kids ask the darnedest things in the strangest of places. Pulling through the bank drive through today, attempting to extract money for a pricy plumbing job, Kenzie (now 8 years old) decided to ask a question. "Mum, I've wanted to ask you for a while. If you have one child, do you have to do it to have another child?" It took me a while to clue in as my brain is in too many places. "Have sex?" "Yes." Taylor pipes in, "not if you have twins." Kenzie, "ew." Taylor, "I'm only going to have one child if I have a lazy husband like daddy used to be. I'll have two if I have a husband who helps."

French Immersion

I was so happy to hear my eldest daughter tell me - twice - while we were camping that she wants to put her children into French Immersion like I did. She says she enjoys it and it helps get jobs like working in the National Parks or talking to people who know French. All that angst about whether to put her in FI 6 years ago or not to. ah...

Am I Smarter than a Fifth Grader?

Today I pondered outloud at the supper table, "On the news today they showed a blue lobster. I wonder how it became blue." With no hesitation and a voice full of confidence my 10 year old answered, "some lobsters live in rivers and are blue." She had also asked me earlier while we were hanging out the clothes why I have so much useless information in my head when I forget important stuff. I had just told her about Daryl, and his brother Larry and his other brother Larry from Newhart from the tv show I watched decades ago. She said, "I only have important stuff in my head because I watch educational shows." She proved this later with her river lobsters are blue information. My response, "And what are the words to the iCarly television show." Of course, she knew them as well. Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

I Bet You Want to Know?

30 March 2013 We had our cousins outdoor Easter egg hunt earlier this year; before Easter rather than afterwards. While the kids were sorting through their assortment of goodies on the living room floor, my youngest looked up at me and asked, "I bet you want to know which I like better?" Of course I had no idea where she was coming from. "Like what better?" "Do I like the Easter egg hunt with the cousins or the Easter bunny egg hunt better?" pause... "Which egg hunt do you like better? The one with your cousins or on Easter?" "I like the hunt with the cousins the best. It's fun and we get to be together."

Innocence of Childhood

My eight year old asked me (while watching a PG movie at home), "How could that happen if they weren't married?" Ah, to have such a black and white view of the world. I told her rather bluntly, "they had sex." Her response made me smirk, "why would they do that?" I sighed internally knowing we haven't gotten to that bridge just yet. "Because it's fun." "Ewwww." Was her response and that works quite well for me. I just wonder how long that was of thinking will last. 23 march 2013

Go Back to Bed, Mommy

When I got up this morning, I was told to go back to bed. Kenzie brought me breakfast in bed: eggs, ham, rice cakes, apple, orange, and cookies Taylor made. yummy! She also had three birthday cards that she made and pipe cleaner creations she had also made. One even spelled out the words, "I love Mommy." 27 February 2012

Going to the Rodents

Kenzie woke me up early this morning to get me to drive her to the pet store. She and Taylor wanted to rescue two of the fancy mice from being snake food. So about an hour later, they have a mouse each - with their own money from the tooth fairy and chores. I didn't want to discourage helping animals though I pointed out it is the circle of life. I think my house is going to the rodents. It had been going to the dogs. 23 June 2012

Miracles Do Happen

Something amazing happened tonight. I took my 7 and 9 year old girls to see Madagascar 3. Shocking that it cost me $35 for the 3 of us. The amazing part is that my 7 year old used her own money, $28 of it, that she had been saving for an ipod, to buy us all treats: Coke slushies, skittles, popcorn, DQ blizzard, and onion rings. She said she just wanted us to all have a good time together. She doesn't want an ipod any more. She doesn't want one even if her friends tease her that she doesn't have one. And that she wants a picture of all her family members for her birthday; not an ipod. See, miracles do happen. 10 June 2012

Fat People

Children certainly can over generalize. Christmas eve I was working on a craft with Mackenzie and having found my voice after three weeks with a cough, I was singing snippets of Christmas songs and driving Kenzie nuts. Out of the blue, as only Kenzie can do, she asked me, "Mom, why is it that fat people can sing?" Of course I had to ask what she meant by that, "because you can sing so well." I wasn't sure if I should be insulted or not. If I accepted the compliment as truth, I would also have to accept her unintended insult as the truth I know it to be. It's an odd world where it is far easier to accept insults (or even constructive criticism) as truth rather than to accept the compliments as equal truth and not shrug them off. However, out of the mouth of babes, she was just calling a spade a spade and saying it like it is.

What Christmas is All About

Our church set up a children's Christmas store three years ago. It is a big hit with the children because they can buy gifts for others on their own. It is a real sense of empowerment and an ego booster for them. Everything is marked under one dollar and no adults/parents are allowed inside of the store. Mackenzie took advantage of this the most out of the two girls and bought something every week the store was open. Both girls even wrapped gifts for other shoppers in the wrapping room. Christmas eve we had a Santa representative participate in a drama explaining that Santa reminds us of the magi who gave the baby Jesus gifts (of gold, frankencense and myrr); to encourage us to give rather than to receive. The puppet show hinted at it as well; that Christmas definately isn't about reindeer. Christmas eve while I was tucking Kenzie into bed, she lay back with her hands behind her head and said, "Mommy, I feel badly. Because I'm excited thinking about the gifts I'm going to get." I assured her that it was okay, especailly as a child, that receiving gifts is exciting and that she certainly had the idea of giving to others. She bought soemthing for everyone; regardless of whose pocket the funding came from. It's good to know that the messages we want to pass on are being absorbed even when we think no one is paying attention.

Little Helper

My amazing, not-so-little, seven year old was the leader getting ready for hosting our family Thanksgiving dinner. She got after her sister and I to hurry up and tidy the house. She set the table for ten, complete with harvest napkins wrapped around the cutlery, painted figurines for each place setting, made place cards, and helped to peel potatoes. With her help we were actaully all ready - for once - when family arrived. She gets things done when she sets her mind to it. - She also packed the car for our first camping trip this past summer.