Taking Care of Mum

Each age carries its own blessings and challenges.  At the moment my girls are 12 and 15 years old.  They are continually fighting and sometimes getting along well.  I'm living with Jekyll and Hyde.  The eldest is also dating or dating again the same guy, someone the youngest disapproves of after listening through their shared bedroom wall to their fights and her sister's tears.  Yet, she finds time to recognize when I'm dragged out or feeling down. 

Yesterday was one of those difficult days.  The walk in clinic with her for flu shots and orthopedics referral was easy.  Canadian Tire for house organizing and lighting supplies was simple enough.  Giant Tiger for groceries was far more difficult.  We even did price comparison on laundry detergent; which was the lowest cost (6 cents for no name, 19 cents for tide/load).  Paying was the problem.  Living pay cheque to pay cheque on a regular basis is worsened by the financial demands or expectations of the expensive Christmas season.  I really wish it wasn't so commercialized.  Well, I didn't have enough to pay for our cart full of groceries.  It took about half an hour to take some from this account, some from savings, some from Taylor's account, some cash in my wallet, etc.  Thankfully we didn't have to walk away nor put anything back.  But it was embarrassingly humbling.  And as we're leaving the store, a table is set up as a fund raiser, lotto ticket Christmas trees.  Sorry, I can't help you.

When we got home, Kenzie told me to go downstairs and relax, do some scrapbooking.  Then she put away the groceries, cooked a frozen pizza, thawed a frozen cake, and brought me down my supper: slice of  chocolate cake, two slices of thick rising pizza, ice tea, and a bottle of wine.  :)  She had it covered.  Sometimes hugs come in the form of acts of service.  Sometimes what we give to others, comes back to us when we need it most.

23 November 2017

"My friends think it's weird that I want to do things with my mother. And I can talk to you like I talk to my friends. "

Maybe I did something right.

Wise Advice

My youngest and I were preparing to face our days and chatting in my small bathroom. As I brushed my hair of its bedhead knots I asked, "Kenzie do you think I should let my grey grow out or keep dying my hair?"
"Let it grow out. It's part of you. It's just like you say, puberty is part of who we are and how we change, your grey hair is part of you and how you've changed."
Now why hasn't anyone put that positive light on it before. Becoming an adult and growing up is a victory yet society tends to view growing old or continuing to grow up as something to hide, to deny.
"Wise words" I told her.
"I'm just being like you."

Pillow talk the other night with my youngest sort of went like this, "Mom, of you were tested to see what faction you belonged to, you'd be divergent." (This being birthed from the book Divergent."

"Oh?  Why is that?"

"Because you're smart, caring, and strong."

:-)

March 2015

Investing in Our Future

I took my girls camping this weekend past and was so proud of them.  They helped to pack the car so it was all done in under an hour instead of the 2 plus it would take me.  When we arrived there was little discussion yet they chose not to go to the playground or wander off but to set up camp.  The tent, bedding, bags, etc. were all set up and organized - including the laying out of our pajamas by my youngest and the mattresses inflated by my eldest - in an hour.  I've also jaded them to the point where they point out and make fun of the lady campers in white clothing and wedge shoes applying makeup in the washrooms.  And the kids not getting exercise riding their motorized scooters and children's electric cars.  My girls are awesome!

I Never Figured

I have gone on most of my girls field trips.  When my eldest was in grade two we went to the Maritime museum of the Atlantic.  I felt I was a disappointment to my daughter when I didn’t have any money to buy our group treats. Other parents had brought chips or candy to share and one parent bought candy sticks for their group from the gift store.  Two years later with the younger child, I brought money and bought shark tooth necklaces.  This year I buy salt water taffy and hematite rings.I wasn't prepared for the ten minute lecture about how I was embarassing because it looked like I was trying to buy favour.  And I was wasting money.  My how times have changed.

New Friend

Well after 2 years and 9 months of separation, my ex has had a couple of new friends (that my girls know of). They have commented that it is awkward to walk into the living room and find dad and his "new friend" cuddling. I wonder how much should be explained to our 9 and 11 year old girls. I know the youngest says the new friend is my twin, fun and friendly, and she has envisioned a future with a two story house instead of the log home if daddy were to re-marry. Mind you, I asked her what she would think if I had a new friend and the first thing she said was, "I don't want you to get engaged." I don't think she has any worries. I'm in no rush to do that again. Been there. Done that. I asked her what my new friend should be like. Her forth-right response was this: he must love animals and wild children, be a little fat like you, like camping, and not be too old (in his 50's) not too young (in his 30's).

No Offense, Mom But...

Rushing around the other morning trying in our usual chaotic way of getting ready for school on time, my youngest pipes up, "No offense, mom, but I know a lot of crazy people and you are the craziest." I don't think of that as an insult in any way. Why be normal? Normal is boring.

The Doctor Told Daddy

The car conversations continue... Taylor announced the other day, "I like going to Daddy's better now. We don't have to bring wood in any more because the doctor told daddy he needs to get some exercise. He brings in all the wood now." This led into a conversation around how things are after the separation as in "Daddy doesn't have a wife to do things for him now so he buys pizza instead of making it."

One or Two Children?

Kids ask the darnedest things in the strangest of places. Pulling through the bank drive through today, attempting to extract money for a pricy plumbing job, Kenzie (now 8 years old) decided to ask a question. "Mum, I've wanted to ask you for a while. If you have one child, do you have to do it to have another child?" It took me a while to clue in as my brain is in too many places. "Have sex?" "Yes." Taylor pipes in, "not if you have twins." Kenzie, "ew." Taylor, "I'm only going to have one child if I have a lazy husband like daddy used to be. I'll have two if I have a husband who helps."

French Immersion

I was so happy to hear my eldest daughter tell me - twice - while we were camping that she wants to put her children into French Immersion like I did. She says she enjoys it and it helps get jobs like working in the National Parks or talking to people who know French. All that angst about whether to put her in FI 6 years ago or not to. ah...

Am I Smarter than a Fifth Grader?

Today I pondered outloud at the supper table, "On the news today they showed a blue lobster. I wonder how it became blue." With no hesitation and a voice full of confidence my 10 year old answered, "some lobsters live in rivers and are blue." She had also asked me earlier while we were hanging out the clothes why I have so much useless information in my head when I forget important stuff. I had just told her about Daryl, and his brother Larry and his other brother Larry from Newhart from the tv show I watched decades ago. She said, "I only have important stuff in my head because I watch educational shows." She proved this later with her river lobsters are blue information. My response, "And what are the words to the iCarly television show." Of course, she knew them as well. Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

I Bet You Want to Know?

30 March 2013 We had our cousins outdoor Easter egg hunt earlier this year; before Easter rather than afterwards. While the kids were sorting through their assortment of goodies on the living room floor, my youngest looked up at me and asked, "I bet you want to know which I like better?" Of course I had no idea where she was coming from. "Like what better?" "Do I like the Easter egg hunt with the cousins or the Easter bunny egg hunt better?" pause... "Which egg hunt do you like better? The one with your cousins or on Easter?" "I like the hunt with the cousins the best. It's fun and we get to be together."

Innocence of Childhood

My eight year old asked me (while watching a PG movie at home), "How could that happen if they weren't married?" Ah, to have such a black and white view of the world. I told her rather bluntly, "they had sex." Her response made me smirk, "why would they do that?" I sighed internally knowing we haven't gotten to that bridge just yet. "Because it's fun." "Ewwww." Was her response and that works quite well for me. I just wonder how long that was of thinking will last. 23 march 2013

Go Back to Bed, Mommy

When I got up this morning, I was told to go back to bed. Kenzie brought me breakfast in bed: eggs, ham, rice cakes, apple, orange, and cookies Taylor made. yummy! She also had three birthday cards that she made and pipe cleaner creations she had also made. One even spelled out the words, "I love Mommy." 27 February 2012

Going to the Rodents

Kenzie woke me up early this morning to get me to drive her to the pet store. She and Taylor wanted to rescue two of the fancy mice from being snake food. So about an hour later, they have a mouse each - with their own money from the tooth fairy and chores. I didn't want to discourage helping animals though I pointed out it is the circle of life. I think my house is going to the rodents. It had been going to the dogs. 23 June 2012

Miracles Do Happen

Something amazing happened tonight. I took my 7 and 9 year old girls to see Madagascar 3. Shocking that it cost me $35 for the 3 of us. The amazing part is that my 7 year old used her own money, $28 of it, that she had been saving for an ipod, to buy us all treats: Coke slushies, skittles, popcorn, DQ blizzard, and onion rings. She said she just wanted us to all have a good time together. She doesn't want an ipod any more. She doesn't want one even if her friends tease her that she doesn't have one. And that she wants a picture of all her family members for her birthday; not an ipod. See, miracles do happen. 10 June 2012

Fat People

Children certainly can over generalize. Christmas eve I was working on a craft with Mackenzie and having found my voice after three weeks with a cough, I was singing snippets of Christmas songs and driving Kenzie nuts. Out of the blue, as only Kenzie can do, she asked me, "Mom, why is it that fat people can sing?" Of course I had to ask what she meant by that, "because you can sing so well." I wasn't sure if I should be insulted or not. If I accepted the compliment as truth, I would also have to accept her unintended insult as the truth I know it to be. It's an odd world where it is far easier to accept insults (or even constructive criticism) as truth rather than to accept the compliments as equal truth and not shrug them off. However, out of the mouth of babes, she was just calling a spade a spade and saying it like it is.

What Christmas is All About

Our church set up a children's Christmas store three years ago. It is a big hit with the children because they can buy gifts for others on their own. It is a real sense of empowerment and an ego booster for them. Everything is marked under one dollar and no adults/parents are allowed inside of the store. Mackenzie took advantage of this the most out of the two girls and bought something every week the store was open. Both girls even wrapped gifts for other shoppers in the wrapping room. Christmas eve we had a Santa representative participate in a drama explaining that Santa reminds us of the magi who gave the baby Jesus gifts (of gold, frankencense and myrr); to encourage us to give rather than to receive. The puppet show hinted at it as well; that Christmas definately isn't about reindeer. Christmas eve while I was tucking Kenzie into bed, she lay back with her hands behind her head and said, "Mommy, I feel badly. Because I'm excited thinking about the gifts I'm going to get." I assured her that it was okay, especailly as a child, that receiving gifts is exciting and that she certainly had the idea of giving to others. She bought soemthing for everyone; regardless of whose pocket the funding came from. It's good to know that the messages we want to pass on are being absorbed even when we think no one is paying attention.

Little Helper

My amazing, not-so-little, seven year old was the leader getting ready for hosting our family Thanksgiving dinner. She got after her sister and I to hurry up and tidy the house. She set the table for ten, complete with harvest napkins wrapped around the cutlery, painted figurines for each place setting, made place cards, and helped to peel potatoes. With her help we were actaully all ready - for once - when family arrived. She gets things done when she sets her mind to it. - She also packed the car for our first camping trip this past summer.

Sometimes

Mackenzie encountered a piddle Leela had left behind in the foyer as we were rushing to get out the door to school. I said, "Daddy told me Leela had peed in the foyer. I guess he didn't clean it up." Out of the blue, Mackenzie adds, "Sometimes I wish you and Daddy would break up. He can be so annoying sometimes." I was taken aback. After some more comments exchanged by the girls, Taylor wisely said, "it would be your choice. Right, Mommy?" I told them that some people stay together for the kids. Why did I not say, but your father and I love each other? Why did I not say some people stay together because they can't afford to live on their own?

Pampered

Returning home this evening, my youngest told me she was going to read to me. She sat me in my chair, tilted me back, covered me with two blankets (one small one for my feet), dimmed the lights, rubbed my slippered feet, took my glasses, brought me juice, brought me a glass and fork bell to summon her, and read me two stories. Then my oldest wanted me to tuck her into bed. sigh. The youngest told her I was tucked in for the night. In the chair, they couldn't climb into bed with me.

Hello Again

I have been gone a long time. Well at least gone from this blogspot. My family has under gone a lot of changes and to make a long story short, my daughters now have two homes; daddy's house and mommy's house. That should be enough said. My intention for this blog is the life of my girls and their stories. Kenzie's words for this would be, "why did you and daddy get married? Because you are so different!"

I Want to Run Away Because Nobody Cares About Me

So we've come to this, have we? After too many late nights, a non-sleepover birthday party, and too hot to sleep nights, Kenzie has morphed. She became very saucy and was talking back, telling me what to do and being nasty. Who was this child and what did she do with my sweet little girl? At bath time she totally lost it, once again said she hated me and what was the point in being part of a family if she wasn't wanted. She said she was going to run away and she didn't need any extra clothes because she wanted to die. Then we'd miss her. Taylor argued with her saying she thought of running away before, but think about what she does have; a warm house, lots of toys... I'll skip some details. In the end Kenzie said she just wanted to be told I loved her and that I'd make certain Taylor didn't ruin her birthday when the time came. I told her I love her, but I hate her behaviour lately and that I couldn't promise to keep Taylor from ruining her birthday because it wasn't a promise I knew I could keep. She disappeared into her room for 5-10 minutes and came back out her old self again. She's only 7 years old. What am I in for when her brain is going through chemical changes and is 17 years old? Breathe in, breathe out. One day at a time.

That Would be a Waste Because....

On one of our rare warm days, Mackenzie complained, "I'm sweating." She had a "solution" as well. "I'm going to pour my (lunch) milk over my head when I get home." I started to explain that it would be a big waste because cows had to make that milk and the farmer had to gather it. Taylor surprised me by continuing the milk process chain, "the farmer collects the milk with tubes, puts it in big cans, takes it to the factory where it the milk is treat it it so there are no germs in it to make you sick. Then it is put in containers and taken to the grocery store. So it would be a waste if you dumped it on your head." - It's nice when I don't have to do all the lecturing. Now, will Kenzie listen to her sister any better than me? Well, she didn't have any come back argument nor did she pour any milk over her head. Likely spoiled her fun. - And I did tell them that some people drink raw milk without pasteurization.

"You're Freaking Me Out"

The time came when we figured it was time to tell the girls that their fratenal grandma was ill (from cancer), was having surgery the following Friday (two surgeons, all day, on Friday the 13th) and likely wouldn't survive the surgery (with her heart problems, low immunity, collitis, etc.). Plus it was believed to be secondary cancer. Taylor took it in stride, "so she might die? But we hope she won't. What do you mean she has cancer in her belly? Where else is it?" Mackenzie on the other hand replied in typical 6 year old form, "but who will take me to see the Newfoundland dog?" Then she got quiet and covered her ears, "Stop talking about it, you're freaking me out. I don't want to hear it." I know when she's ready she will ask questions. Minutes later she came to me and said "we don't want people in our family to drop off. We'd miss them because we love them." Mackenzie is familiar with death. She has had her fourth fish die this week. They're class fish died a couple of weeks ago (it was hers as well). Her teacher's dog died a couple of months ago. And her classmate's mother died two months ago. She knows about death, just not this close to home. We hope and pray that she gets a chance to spend a week alone with her gandmother, without her family, as Taylor did when she was six years old. A good woman like her should be around for a lot more years; someone who cares for others and loves her family more than anything in the world.

How Tall Am I?

During Kenzie's swimming lessons, Taylor said they were learning how tall they were at school today. She said I'm 136 feet tall. No it's not feet. I'm 136 kilometers tall. Um, no that's not it either. So I (Daddy) told her it was likely centimeters and she agreed. - Taylor's measurement units are obviously a product of her parents; feet and kilometers. Isn't she a product of the metric system in centimeters, kilograms, and kilometers? yet she speaks in feet, inches, pounds, and kilometers. Influences...go figure.

You Have The Voice

Last week, shile driving he girls and I to my work, Mackenzie spoke up and said, "Mommy, you have a really good voice.And a good talking voice. You should be on the radio." I had to ask what she meant by that. You have a good singing voice, you should have a cd because you have a good voice, you have a good voice for everything. blush, blush. "Thank you, Kenzie."

There was a bit of a pause as I basked in the warmth of this complicment and Mackenzie continued to ponder.

"Mommy, I think you should be on Canada's Worst Drivers." There goes that bubble. "I know you would be the first one to get your liscence back and you know stuff that people on the road don't know how to do. And then you'd be a really good driver." ah, that's better.

Taylor added her thoughts to this train of thought: "You would learn stuff on Canada's Worst Driver because they learn stuff that other people don't have to learn." She has a point. But I don't not want to be on tv. "You aren't as bad as the people on the show. They're scary to have on the road driving. And you're a good driver."

Ah, this is the stuff of conversations I need to remember; hense the recording of it here. I wonder if these musings would be worthy of a book someday.

What's More Important?

I was dropping the girls off at school last week, right on time, no room for dilly dallying. Taylor leaned forward from the back seat as she usually does, for a see-you-later kiss. Mackenzie was not impressed for she couldn't access her backpack that was in the front seat. "Mommy," she began, "What's more important, school or a kiss?" I of course replied with, "a kiss of course, because it shows someone that you love them." She didn't agree. "You can get a kiss later." "But, what if something happens to me or you and I don't get to see you later?" "Mommy, school is more important." Well, I'm glad I instilled the importance of school yet sad that she hasn't learned to value a good goodbye. Well, at least when she's the one leaving. When I'm leaving, it's another story.

Gone in the blink of an eye

Mackenzie came home the other day with tragic news. I wondered if
she got the message correctly and if so, was there anything we could do?
Mackenzie said that a classmate and friend's mother was killed in a car accident near the end of the spring break. Conversing with her teacher revealed it to be all too true. What horror for the boys, the dad. We just saw them last
week at the pool playing volleyball together. The car accident that ended her life made it to the news and the local papers. Before I knew it to be someone I have met, someone I kinda know, I saw the pictures and shuddered. I can't imagine. I don't know why such tragedies seem worse when I have some connection to the people
involved. I suppose people would never have a chance to recover and move on if we mourned all of life's tragedies. Shocking just how fragile life is, and how life can change dramatically in a second.

Mackenzie didn't want to talk about it beyond telling her sister why Gabe wasn't in school for the week (and she misses him) and that they had made cards for him. Taylor wanted to explore what it would all mean to the family and what such a loss might mean to other families. Mackenzie asked us to stop talking about it. I wonder how she and her classmates are taking it.
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There is an education fund set up for the boys thru the funeral home,
J.Snow Funeral Home on Lacewood.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Sometimes I wonder, and worry a tad, at what my children come up with. On our drive to school, Mackenzie raised her voice and asked, "Mommy, can I have our house when you and Daddy are dead?" I had to ask why. "I don't know. I like it." But what about your other sisters? Maybe you can by their part of the house from them. But sure, you can have the house, if you still want it. I suppose having a consistant home helps one to feel grounded. Yet the girls have weigh the advantages from time to time of living closer to their school and friends. Hey, why was she more concerned with getting the house than our dying? Maybe having our cat and several fish die has made it understood to her that death is unavoidable. Perhaps death isn't real to her yet. Where do these questions come from, eh? :)

Me, Myself, and I

Last week when the girls and I were at home, storm-stayed on the girls' first no-school-due-to- snow day; they were getting restless beyond my patience. Not atypical. I had the brilliant idea to get them started making their Valentine's. I was fortunate to have the items on hand already. I set them to work with foam heats, ribbon, and stickers of various sizes, colours and sparkle. Taylor sat down with her classroom photo to remember all the names. Mackenzie handed me paper and pen to write down the names as she remembered them; boys column and girls column. She knew there are 20 in her class. She was ble to get all the names up to 19 by picturing the classroom and who sat where, as well as by following my suggestion of going through the alphabet. But no way could she remember the last missing person. They worked all afternoon, surprisingly, and made all 20 Valentine's in one sitting. Once they were nearing the end Kenzie piped up, "Mommy, I know who I forgot. Me!" lol Figures.

Selective Vegetarian

Mackenzie hasn't been eating much lately. She used to be the one who ate everything but now she's quite choosy. I think she subsists mainly on chocolate milk; her comfort food. The other day she didn't like what was on the menu. Taylor asked her why she didn't want to eat pork or whatever meat was on the table, "it's good. You used to eat it." Mackenzie answered with," I know but I don't like to eat animals any more." "But you like chicken nuggets, that's meat." "I know but that's different." Hmmm. How so? Oh, the logic (?) of children.

Let It snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

Taylor wasn't at all happy Tuesday morning when she opened the front door. "It rained. There's no snow. I was hoping there would be snow to play in." Later in the car she said she wished she could go to England so she could play in the snow. Mackenzie piped up, "But we can't; we still owe money on the house."

When I grow up...

Taylor has revealed to me that when she grows up she wants to buy a house with a big yard with a fence. Then she and her best friend, Samantha, are going to run a doggy daycare and grooming place. And she is going to ride her bike wherever she can instead of driving a car so she won't pollute the environment. I had to admire her dreaming big. "It's good to have plans, Taylor. But sometimes life changes them." I only hope she is happy no matter where or what she is in her future.

Mommy, Do You Like Christmas?

Once again, on our car ride, the girls came up with a line of conversation that surprised me where it went. We were commenting on the Christmas lights that people have up. Mackenzie piped up and asked me, "Mommy, do you like Christmas?" After my "yes," she added, "I like Christmas too. It's about love. Loving people. Like Valentine's Day. And remembering people who have died." Taylor contributed by saying Christmas is about giving to others. Interesting what children see through their perceptions.

Throw It

The girls have come with me a few times to dog obedience class. Leela's biggest challenge is to stay off of people and not jump up on them. The instructor once told me to say it like I meant it, to throw it like a brick. One day shortly after this, I arrived home and was trying to keep my dog from jumping up on me as she greeted me at the door. Leela, off! From the background, somewhere down the hall, I heard Mackenzie say, "Throw it like a brick." Good to have them come with me at times.

Frenchy's verses Walmart

The beginning of each school year brings the purchasing of a few new clothes. We had an errand to do at Walmart, Taylor had birthday money burning a hole in her pocket, and school supplies were on sale. Kenzie asked if we could go to Frenchy's on the way back. "I don't want new clothes from Walmart. I want to go to Frenchy's." I wonder if it's because she has always had her own sense of style, she can get more at Frenchy's, or she wants to be unique. I may never know the answer to that one. But I sure hopes she stops the "I-don't-have-any-shirts-to-wear-that-I-like" phase over soon. I doubt it. She is a fashionable female. Unlike her mother.

Back To School Attitude

Alas, the end of summer approaches and I took the girls shopping for school supplies earlier in the week. Mum babysat them while I went to work that evening. Mum told me that Kenzie set right to work putting her name on all her stuff, taking her time and printing neatly or by using her personalized labels. She also took her time packing them all into a large ziplock bag in which she placed a smaller ziplock bag with all her pencils. Very tidy and organized. Taylor after three years of school was more jaded and had to redo her name on a few things. The next morning, Mackenzie asked the question while we were eating breakfast, "What are we doing today?" "Going to summer camp." Again, Kenzie asked, "no, what are we doing?" Being puzzled, I asked, "what do you mean?" "Are we going to school today?" She was somewhat disappointed when I said, "no, not yet." "Oh." It's good to have her eager to begin school again since so often last year she didn't want to go to school, refused to leave the car, begged to stay home, and so on. I think she misses her friends as all the play dates she tried to arrange didn't happen. Are 6 year olds afraid of going to other houses for playdates or are the parents not ready to let them go?

It's Special

One girls' night at my house, my friend was working away on her quilt and felt she had messed up. Taylor asked her what was wrong as she had attentively been watching to unusual use of the ironing board. She then told Jaime, "it's okay. It will be extra special because it is made by you."

Words My Children Know at an Age when I Didn't Know Such Words

The girls are constantly surprizing me with their vocabularly (especially 5 year old Mackenzie). Here are the ones I can recall:

environment
inappropriate
penis/peanut
vagina
breasts/boobs
responsible
correct


And of course the new technology terms such as:
computer
dvd
remote control
portable dvd player
cell phone
cordless phone
satelite tv
satelite radio (Kenzie wonders why I can't replay Mama Mia in my car like Daddy can)

What will they say next?

Rock Star Hair

While showering at the campground last night, Mackenzie asked me why I had my hair cut short like a boy. I told her it was easier to take care of; it dries faster, stays out of my face, and doesn't get tangled or messy as easily. She paused and then said, "sometimes your have rock star hair with it all over the place." :) Touche.

Shake It

Last week while I was at work, my husband was getting the girls to clean up some of their chaos. Typically, they know where it goes for they can find items when they have been put away. Howevver; also typically, those items are very rarely returned to their proper place. While they were cleaning Warren heard Taylor tell Kenzie, "Shake what your mother gave you!"

Public Library Jungle Tree for Summer Reading Program

I know this tale isn't about one of my girls but it IS about children. I have a great job and sometimes it really rocks! This past weekend I had the opportunity and co-operating weather to construct and erect a paper tree to decorate for the Jungle themed summer reading program at the library this summer. It was great fun to hang branches, vines, monkeys, etc. I hope everyone enjoys the affect and that it last for nine weeks. Have a great summer!

To See What they Could See

One morning the raido hosts were discussing Steven Hawkings thinking that there is extraterrestial life out there and the danger of attracting their attention. Taylor listened intently and then added that the universe is a big place so there likely is more life out there. But I wonder, she added, why would they want to visit here? Mackenzie, without missing a jump on my bed as she answered, piped up and said, "It's like the bear that went over the mountain; to see what he could see." Ah, out of the minds of babes. But there's actually a lot of sense to that.

The Creative Mind of a Child

Taylor and I were out biking the other day. Being a more typical spring day, it was chilly and fingers were going numb in the breeze created by the speed of the bike. Taylor and I discusses some things for me when I was a child and she labeled it a "dangerous time" since we didn't have car seats, bike or skating helmets, nor seat belts. She then piped up that her thumbs were cold but not her fingers. "I guess it's like penguins that stand together to keep warm. My fingers are keeping each other warm." Now if all of us could draw such connections amongst seemingly unrelated topics, what genius discoveries we might be able to make.

Two Garages

While in the car, again, on the way to pick Taylor up at school, a Sick Mackenzie piped up and asked me from the back seat, "Mommy would you like two garages?" She then went onto say that Daddy and I could each have one. I could my stuff in one and DAddy could put his stuff in the other. I said I'd like to have a shed to put bkikes in, the lawn mower, and the wheel barrow. Then with some leap in logic, Mackenzie told me if I lived in one house, Daddy could live in the old house. She also went on to ask if kids can stay with their mum or dad if they (parents) aren't living together any more. I told her that kids can. She said she'd like to stay with me and that she thought Taylor would too. We had just finished watching Little Bear and Caillou on television; both two-parent families. I had to ask Mackenzie, why was she asking me this? Of course she said, "I don't know." I asked if she had kids in her class who only one parent but I didn't get an answer. I know Taylor has single-parent children in her class. But how did this all begin from, "Mommy would you like to have two garages?" Children are....shall I say, interesting.

Canada Rocks!

When I told the girls this morning that Canada won another gold last night and became the first country to win the most gold medals at the olympics, Kenzie's reply, with a fist in the air, was "CANADA DEFINATELY ROCKS!!! :) What an event to have been around for. Wish we could have watched more of the events. Go Canada!

A Child of the Times

On occassion, Taylor has informed me that when she grows up that she is going to bike or walk everywhere because it is better for the environment and good exercise for her. She has also revealed that she intends to have a house that is in the ground so that it will stay cooler in summer and warmer in winter; and that she will have plants growing on the roof and she will have two or three exits in case of a fire. The girl is only seven. I won't ask where she comes up with the stuff because we have discussed such things, especially while travelling by car (not bike or by foot). But I am amazed at how she has remembered it, processed it, and added it all to her dreams of her future. Wow! When I was seven, I wasn't worried about getting enough exercise, keeping the environment healthy (what was that?), nor concerned about the temperature of my furture home (I put on or took off a sweater). Interesting. I wonder what her goals will be when she's old enough to drive and when she is old enought to have a home. In the meantime, keep dreaming big!


Weeks later, Mackenzie pops out of her bedroom already dressed for the day. On closer inspection, she's wearing the same thing she had on the day before. "Mommy, I'm helping the earth by wearing the clothes I wore yesterday." I told her that does help because it doesn't make more laundry and use more water. "Are you proud of me?" "Yes." I also had to mention that when I was little and wore clothes two days in a row that I got teased but that if clothes aren't sweaty or muddy or dirty in anyway, then one should be able to wear their clothes again. I just wish she'd do what I'd asked and wear her pj's more than one night. This is where the idea originated from.

Is Santa Real?

On Monday we took our puppy to visit with Santa and support (?) the SPCA by buying a photo with Santa. The intention was to get a photo of Leela and Santa but the girls were added as well. It was unfortunate that they weren't dressed for the occassion but dressed for everyday life in the personal taste clothing. :) This visit brought up the question, "Mommy, is Santa real?" I sort of took the bailing out method and asked, "What do you think?" Mackenzie's answer was, "he's someone ins a costume wearing a white beard." Then with the desire to keep the innocent joy of belief in Santa alive, I responded, "Santa has a lot of helpers." People who dress as Santa and visit with children and dogs. People who watch and see if you are being good or not so good. Taylor supported this way of thinking. I also had to add that Santa helps people to learn about giving without expecting anything back. Santa gives to a lot of people and might only get milk and cookies back. Unfortunately, many people just learn to ask for more. Over both Taylor and myself, Mackenzie kept saying, "but he's someone in a costume with a white beard!" Ah, the "innocence" of children. Or should I say, one-way thinking, especially Kenzie.

Times Have Changed

On the drive home from school two weeks ago, Taylor pulled her paper creations out of her backpack and announced, "I made my own laptop and cell phone." I had to start laughing, and then of course, I had to explain myself. "Taylor, when I was seven there weren't laptop computers. Computers filled an entire room. We didn't have cell phones or only special people had them and they were big and bulky." Reminds me of the list Warren emailed me once, "100 things your children will never see." Our eldest child though, does know how to use a rotary phone and how to use a turn table. The both know what a record is as well; it's not a large cd (as was once thought by a grade two student). Is technology changing too fast? What about global warming? We progress with technology but not in ways to save our planet. Now I'm confused.

What Does Mackenzie Think of School?

The day before school began, Mackenzie amidst our back-to-school conversation, piped up, "Mommy, I don't start school tomorrow, do I?" "Yes, you do." "But I'm not five yet." I had to explain that she had to be five years old by the time her birthday was, 31 December. When it clicked, "yeah!" She was a happy camper. Waiting outside the school though was another matter. Not that she was unhappy to be going to school, but that it was cold outside and she was "freezing like a pop cycle" with her bare legs under her skirt. Three days later, she didn't want family time, she wanted time with just mummy and her. I didn't stop to think that she would miss our time home alone together. She is fine when she gets to school. Her teacher says she's doing well, that all the kids in her class this year are doing well. She also chatters on about her best-friend, Noel, who she wants to have sleep over but she keeps forgetting to pass our phone number on to. Still, every three days or so, "I want to stay home," or "I want to skip school today," or "I'm sick." She wants time with Mummy. I need to figure out now how to fit in a bath or some time with her one on one. Maybe bedtime story in her room without her sister? Hm mm.

How Do Babies Get Out?

Again, the conversations the girls and I have in the car are ... interesting. We got our new puppy and then the questions began. The girls started talking about the possibly of having our own puppies. So then they wanted to know how babies are made. - I kept it brief.- They wanted to know how to keep our puppy from having babies and why we had to. And they wanted to know how babies get out of their mummy's tummy. So... I told them that women have three holes. One for pee, one for poo, and one in between that the babies get out from and that mommies bleed from when they aren't going to have a baby. That brief explanation done, we moved on. Or so I thought. Girls night, I was hosting and my two girlfriends were over. Jaime's Spock birthday cake and the answer to how to babies get out combined in Mackenzie's mind. Mackenzie walked up to Jaime and informed her, "you know that boy on your cake? When you get married you will have five babies. Babies come out of a hole. Girls have three holes." Jamie looked at me wondering how to respond. I nodded, "that's right. We have three holes." I explained later to Jamie what the heck Mackenzie was talking about. And she relayed to story to her mother. Hard not to. :-)

Critters

Early on Tuesday morning, I was taking Leela out for a pee and we startled a chipmunk on the front steps. The girls were upset that they couldn't see it when they trickled out of the house and peered under the steps trying to catch a glimpse. Later in the day we were walking up the steps and a grey, rope-like, un-identified object laying across the path. Mackenzie was beside Leela and me, and we were following Taylor. So, when I recognized the object as our perennial garden snake resident, Mackenzie was quite impressed. When telling Taylor of the snake she had just missed, she was disappointed and looked in the ornamental grass for signs of it. Mackenzie described the snake as brown with red spots, and was "really kewl!" Now what 4 1/2 and 7 year old GIRLS put chipmunks and snakes in the same gotta-see category? Mine!

The Story of Leela

What’s In a Name?

When we decided we were getting a puppy we knew we needed a name. Warren took on the search for a name with far more enthusiasm than he did for our girls’ names. He sent out emails and phoned relatives looking for suggestions. Sarah, Marc and Sam had several suggestions such as Oreo, Fudge, Fran, Sam, and Riley (also one of my choices). In the end, we ignored all suggestions, especially Mackenzie’s suggestion of “Rainbow Star.” For some unknown reason, we thought we would be getting a male puppy. So we went about bouncing around male names. I suggested using character names from books or favorite television shows. Friends of mine had named their dog, “Khan,” from the Star Trek series. Warren came up with using the name, “Tiberius,” for the original Enterprise Star Ship captain, James “T” Kirk. We’d use, “Ti” for short. We loved it. Then we found out we could have our choice of two female pups. We had to begin name searching again. I wanted “Anita” from the Laurel K. Hamilton series I like to read. Anita is an assertive, loyal, protective, non-nonsense, vampire and bad guy hunter. I also suggested, “Ayla” from Jean Auel’s series. Ayla is strong, resourceful, nurturing, a fighter and a survivor. Mackenzie mispronounced the name as “Layla” which made me think of the character “Leela” in one of Warren’s favorite television shows, the animated program, “Futurama.” I thought it would be humorous to share this thought. Warren jumped on the name and sent out email to everyone that this was the name we had chosen and why. I researched the name thinking it would be great to have a name that reflected our puppy’s heritage and googled Spanish and Cuban names. The name “Leila” arouse and I could then live with the name, “Leela.” Besides, she’s the best character on the show and shares many of the same characteristics as “Anita” and “Ayla”.

She’s tough. She’s sexy. She even uses power tools. She’s Futurama’s Turanga Leela (aka “Leela”), and despite being a one-eyed cartoon mutant,
she’s one of the most positive representations of women anywhere on television.
http://scryberwitch.wordpress.com/2008/04/12/best-starship-captain-ever/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turanga_Leela

----------------------
One day after swimming at the Sackville Sports Stadium (without Daddy as he was home with breathing difficulties), the girls asked to visit the Pets Unlimited store in Sackville. We stopped in for a peer-at- the-animals event, patted some rabbits, looked at fish, same as usual... Then one of the staff members had two Havanese puppies out for people to pet. They were adorable! They looked like mini Ewoks, were enthusiastic, quiet, and put up with what the girls handed out. Not that I know dogs or breeds well, I had never heard of Havanese. After doing some research found out that the breed has only been recognized in the united States for ten years, so no wonder. We arrived back home and told Daddy about the puppies. He must like dogs better than he lets on for he asked, “Do you want to buy one?” Knowing he will ask hypothetical questions, I ignored the price tag of $1,500, and said, “yes.” “Well, go buy it.” was his response. I had to argue then that the store was closing, we don’t know the breed, and buying from pet stores is suppose to be a bad thing as it supports puppy mills. Surprisingly (for me) Warren began research with gusto. He found some websites with information on the breed and some breeders in Nova Scotia. The more we learned about the breed, the more we wanted one. Havanese are great with kids, assertive but not aggressive, are quiet, a toy breed but sturdier than most, social (“Velcro-dogs), and hypo allergic. Now we had to find a breeder.

Choosing the Breeder

Warren’s research brought up a breeder, Bonnie, in Bridgewater, http://europeanhavanese.com/ that we were advised to stay away from and the pups were raised outside in kennels rather than inside the home. He also came across one near Bridgetown, Joanne, whose dog, Daisy, had a litter of three puppies. We went to visit after Taylor’s Sparks camp Sunday 24 May and fell in love with them. Sarge was spoken for. Bonny was a sable and a sweetie. We were asked if we would like to have her if Joanne and her business partner decided not to keep her to breed. It was three weeks later, or more, when we learned that she wasn’t available. However, there would likely be another litter in the fall. We put our names on the waiting list. Warren found another breeder in New Waterford, Cape Breton, Linda, at Kamolot Kennels http://kamolotkennels.com/. We found it impossible to find time to go out and visit her. Warren also found Natalie, www.mystykalsky.com, in New Brunswick. We were prepared to spend our weekend to go visit her and the six puppies but she wasn’t available on weekends; it was family time for her. Warren also found Debra who mentioned Nancy Henneberry; a name we had heard before from Joanne. We then managed to get in touch with Nancy in East Gore, an hour’s drive away from us. She is friends with Joanne as they both show their dogs together at competitions. She sounded perfect. My research suggested a breeder who raises the puppies in the home (so they are used to house noises and are more sociable), who parental pedigree is shared, who have health checks before sale, and a warranty against the genetic health of the puppy. Nancy also microchips her puppies, provides a crate, gives us a tips pamphlet, ongoing help, and asks for a crate mat and small stuffie with the family’s scent on it to familiarize the puppy with us.

The Waiting Begins

We waited a long time for Mystic to have her puppies. She was due 10 June. The week past her due date, I phoned to see when the puppies were born and how many. They were born 9 June and there were four, two males and two females. Again we had to wait to see if any of the puppies would be available. Nancy had to contact everyone on her waiting list and then get back to us. This would be Mystic’s last litter and Nancy wouldn’t have any more puppies available for two years. I hoped this would be our chance. On Sunday 28 June we received an email that we could have one of the two females. We liked the sable puppy the most. Again, we had to wait to see which puppy would be ours as Nancy likes to match the puppy’s temperament with the family. At about five weeks old, the breeder can usually tell what the puppy will be like.

The middle of July came and Nancy told us we could have the sable female puppy as she wasn’t shy in the least and is the bravest one in the litter which means she’ll test her limits but she’ll be okay in our noisy home.


Handling the Waiting

Warren took to sharing the photos of the puppies through email and when we knew which puppy was ours, he set up a website link dedicated to Leela: http://members.rennlist.org/warren/leela.html
Warren also took charge of the communication with Nancy and updating friends and relatives of the latest updates.
Date: 2009/07/12
Hi Nancy

Cheryl and the girls are anxiously awaiting news on the puppy. Her name will be Leela. So far Cheryl has knit five sweaters. Here is a picture of them being modeled on their toy cats, dogs, and a bear. http://members.rennlist.org/warren/sweaters.jpg

We purchased a crate mat from Best Friends Pet Supplies in Tantallon. They do not sell animals of any sort. The mat is very soft, I'd like a larger one for napping on.

When could we stop by to see the dogs?

Warren

I took to checking out many books and dvds from the library. I wanted to learn about the Havanese breed, dog training, taking care of dogs and gulp! sewing, fun projects, and knitting for dogs. I began knitting before we knew if we had a puppy for certain and before we knew if it would be male or female. Warren’s favorite phrase was, “you don’t even have a dog.” I bought knitting needles, took some of the chunky yarn mum had on hand (all boy colours) and began knitting! People were astounded, including me, that I was knitting as it isn’t a favorite past-time of mine. Lynn even thought it was a joke when Warren emailed out a picture of the girls and their stuffies dressed in the dog sweaters. I didn’t even know if the sweaters would fit our dog. Once I knew we were getting a girl puppy, I went out and bought too much girl-coloured yarn (pinks, purples, pastels, textured, etc.) and knit more sweaters. By the time 1 August arrived, I had knit 10 sweaters (two for the girls’ stuffies.) I had also become familiar with using bobbins, stitch holders, and knitting terminology. I also took to making lists of possible supplies, picking dog-owning, co-workers’ brains, and comparing prices at The Great Canadian Dollar Store, Home Hardware, Canadian Tire, Walmart, Best Friends Pet Supplies, and Pets Unlimited. Then I took to buying and picking up things; carrying through on the nesting impulse. I found a few items second hand on www.kijiji.ca such as a crate, a dog bike carrier, a raincoat, and a dog carrying purse.


The Day We First Met Leela

It was easy to get everyone ready early Sunday morning 2 August 2009 for we were going to see Leela that day! We left shortly before 10am, made a stop at the bank for a $300 down payment extraction, arrived about an hour earlier than expected, and stayed for two hours, not one. The girls wanted to visit the two horses (Pepper and a rescued mare from BC) and the chickens and turkeys. Daddy wanted to give Nancy a blank cd to burn Leela photos onto. We also had our contract to sign, to hand over the crate mat and toy we had been sleeping with, and of course play with the puppies. We met all five adult dogs. Hooter is being shown in competitions and he had his full long cream colored coat to stroke. Quin and Brooke had their black and white coats shaved for easy maintenance in their rural setting. Mystic was suffering as all new mothers do and was in need of a bath and a good grooming. Nancy told us that she couldn’t give her a full bath because a wet coat would make the puppies cold. Her hormones from being pregnant made her hair coarse as well. The other adult dogs were Brooklyn, Quinn, and Peewee. Quinn is Nine years old and had only had three ear infections in her lifetime. We learned a little about all the puppies as well. Griffin, a week younger than the rest, is the smallest and is going to Nancy’s son. Griffin made it up the steps into the house for the first time while we were there. Marley, the other boy, named after a dog in a the movie, Marley and Me, is going to a family with a little girl and they also like to camp at Jelly stone Park. Marley is the more vocal of the litter and is the first to bark for food or when someone arrives. Lacey, or Leather and Lace, got her name the day before and is going to be staying with Nancy to be her new breed dog as the mother, Mystic, is retiring. Therefore, Nancy won’t have any more puppies for sale for two years. We took lots of photos and learned a few tips from Nancy about dogs. Nancy told us that Leela was the first to make it out of the whelping pen and the first to make it up the steps and into the house. She is also going through a shy stage and was quite shy while we were there but put up with our attention. We learned that the dog toys that the dogs like and last longer are the skinnys from Superstore (that I’d only seen the large ones of) and the Kennel Club ones from Walmart. We learned that the dogs are on Eagle Pack dog food; locally made and organic. Nancy suggested taking the crate door off as she’s heard of puppies that got their jaws caught on the hinges and died, and using a plastic pen from Toys ‘R Us to keep our dog in a safe area when we can’t watch her. Investigation into a pet pen revealed that one bought new would be over $100. Less expensive ones could be found on kijiji but Warren wasn’t convinced we needed one.

The Big Speech:

Warren turned to me one evening and began: You realize that if you get a puppy, you will have to walk it, and feed it, walk it, and clean up it’s poop.... He’s been cheerily telling people that he knew there was no point in giving the girls “the speech” so he gave it to Cheryl instead.

Books Read and DVD’s in Preparation

Dvds:
“Woof! A guide to dog training”
“Dogs for Dummies an easy to follow program ”
***“Training You to Train Your Puppy”
Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan

Books:
“Havanese: a complete Pet Owner’s Guide”
“Communicating with Your Dog: a humane approach to dog
training”
***“Mother Knows Best: the natural way to train your dog”
“A Pet Love Guide to Training Your Dog”
“Complete Dog Care Manuel”

Dog Training Places:

Unleashed Pawsabilities
http://www.dynamicdogs.ca/aboutus.html
Lietash Dog Academy
Chewed Slipper
Tamara MacFarland

Leela's Diary:

Gifts From Grandma

Grandma paid a visit from Newfoundland, bringing gifts galore. One of the first gifts she gave the girls was musical dolls from Germany that she picked up on her trip. Taylor was fine with hers but Mackenzie said, "I don't like her" and passed the doll back. A few minutes later she said there might be another girl who likes her so give her away. Grandma asked what Mackenzie would have liked her to bring back for her, "a rock." Turns out she meant a rock like the one Taylor got at the gift store. Mackenzie also pointed out something Grandma hadn't considered, Taylor's doll had nicer shoes!

Unexpected Behaviour

Taylor and I went on her class trip today to have a ride on Theodore Tugboat in Halifax Harbour. Taylor, like the other kids were getting rangy and rather wound up. So when we were home to meet with the summer sitter at 3pm I didn't expect her to quietly disappear. Mackenzie hung around chattering away; wound up herself on meeting a new person and having a sleepover at Grammie and Grampy's. Later this evening, I learned that Taylor hadn't been quietly watching the movie, Hercules, as I assumed, but rather CLEANING HER ROOM!!! When I tucked her into bed I was astounded to learn that she had not only made her bed and put her clothes away but there was nothing on the floor any more to accidentally step on or trip over or stub a toe on. It was a mother's dream. :) Of course I praised her on being so grown up and responsible and called Daddy in to see what Taylor had done without any prompting. What a girl!

Growing Up

Last week Miss Taylor got dressed right away in the morning with no extra encouragement. Daddy wasn't feeling well so he was staying home that day and wasn't up getting the girls' breakfast. After getting Mackenzie and myself dressed, I went out to the kitchen wondering what to get the girls for breakfast but Taylor had beat me to it. She had warmed up a pizza pocket for herself and a frozen pizza for her sister. And...she has also gotten her lunch bag out of the fridge and packed it in her backback for school. Wow! Now if this could only happen more often. :)

Mackenzie's Dog Tick Experience 3 June 2009

We live on almost two acres of land with woods around us, painfully obvious after winter winds blow several down. We have had deer, rabbits, fox, snakes, and a bear through our property but ticks have never been an issue... until this spring. This spring it has been difficult to stand at the edge of the driveway to look a lady slippers or stain the front steps without getting a tick on oneself. I had noticed this while staining the deck and mention to Daddy that we need to check the girls each night for ticks. We both forgot. Tuesday Mackenzie and I were outside for awhile as I was staining the front steps. I worked that night and wasn't home to dress Mackenzie but she often dresses herself now anyway. The next day Mackenzie dressed herself as well. At one point in the afternoon I decided to check on Mackenzie to see why she had been in the washroom so long. I had to open the door to find her with a sink full of water, and up to her elbows in bubbles, washing her brass horse, Mackenzie-dubbed "trophy." She had stripped off her sweater to keep her sleeves dry and I was able to notice a black spot on her back. "What's that, Mackenzie?" I asked out loud instead of keeping it to myself. It was a tick. Yeah. I called mum, the retired nurse for advice since I had a tick on me while camping years ago, as had we all. We didn't have the liquid on hand to put on it to get the tick to "back out" so she suggested the old match method (light it, blow it out, and touch the tick). Mackenzie squirmed a bit when I tried this and I was afraid I'd burn her. The tick didn't budge. Mum suggested making it hard for the tick to breathe and something hot like a muscle relaxation lotion. I put some "Tiger balm" on the tick, and again, it didn't budge but Mackenzie had a red spot where the balm had been. I then went online to research a solution. The wisdom of the Internet said not to use the old match or Vaseline method but to grab a hold of the tick with tweezers, as close to the head as possible, a pull slowly and steadily. So up to the bathroom we went. Mackenzie was getting more upset now and said it hurt when I tried to pull the tick off her. It had a strong hold on her and Mackenzie's skin would pull as I pulled the tick. The tweezers weren't able to hold on and it slipped out repeatedly. Mackenzie was in tears by this point and thought the tweezers were hurting her and didn't want me to go near her with them. I had some rubbing alcohol to drop the tick into at hand and held this to her back and the tick. I hadn't read in my first aid book at this point that this is supposed to loosen a tick's hold. I thought it might kill any "germs" if nothing else. The tick still wouldn't let go and Mackenzie had lost her willingness to co-operate. I told her I'd take her to a doctor to have the tick taken off. We still had 20 minutes to pick up Taylor at school so I went back to staining the front steps and Mackenzie buckled herself into her car seat, ready to go. Mackenzie fell asleep in the car so I gave the tick another try before leaving for Taylor. The tick kept slipping out of my tweezers. At the walk in Family Focus clinic, we waited a brief while before seeing a doctor. He said he removes a tick about every other day and that his tweezers are sharper. He also pulled the tick with a quick, removing-a-band-aid, technique. He bottled the tick for testing for rare lime disease (found in deer ticks). He checked the area where Mackenzie's tick had been but didn't swab it or anything else to care for it. Kenzie was incredibly calm at the doctor's office, and calmly lay on her tummy. She did ask if it would hurt and was told, "no." She later confirmed that "it didn't hurt a bit." We also received a phone call later to tell us it was a common dog tick. Both Mackenzie and Taylor were reluctant to go outside or to bed for the next three days and were regular with checking for ticks. I bought some bug and tick spray that worked at keeping the ticks off. The only difficulty was that it contained deet and wasn't to be used on children under the age of 12 years old. I sprayed the girls clothes instead. This meant that Taylor still got a tick behind her ear and one on her back. Regular checking for them kept any ticks from getting a good hold though and we had no more trouble with them. And we're thinking of getting a dog? What are we thinking? Ah, what's one more "baby" to check for ticks?

Mackenzie's Favorite Shoes

Mackenzie has grown into a very girly girl. She likes to wear dresses or skirts, especially the fancy ones. She has even gotten into my lipstick a time or two. She likes to wear headbands, and to have her hair in a neat ponytail. She doesn't even like to take her ponytail out for showers or baths. And of course, she has to wear dress shoes, not sneakers. Well, she found a pair of white dress shoes with bows and pearls that tap nicely when she walked in them (better than the squeaking sandles she once had). She got it in her head that they used to be my shoes when I was a girl and was a flower girl. No idea where that thought came from. But that is often the case with Miss Mackenzie. She has worn the shoes to death; wearing them in all kinds of weather wet or dry and in muddy backyards or dry sidewalks. The paint wore off of them, the bows came off - twice, the soles wore down to the next layer, and the toes were worn clear through. We painted them twice, before I tossed them in the garbage. She helped paint them the second time and I told her to go for it and dug out the glitter glue. When the toes wore through and the paint wore off yet again, I snuck them into the garbage on garbage day. Mackenzie found a black velvet pair of dress shoes in her possession when she couldn't find the white ones and was satisfied; fortunately. She asked three days later where her white ones were, if I had thrown them out. Surprisingly, she understood and didn't get mad at me. I'll have to keep in mind that she likes shoes that tap. Mind you, when she goes to school next year she's needs indoor shoes in the form of sneakers. She'll have to keep her dress shoes for playing outside.

Mackenzie School Orientation 29 May 2009

Mackenzie has been going with me every day I drop Taylor off at school for French Immersion for almost two years. She has gone to Taylor's Christmas concerts, the cookies with Santa event, an ice cream social, a pajama dance, two Spring flings, gingerbread house construstion, a craft help day, and so forth. She also knew on April Fool's day that I stood in line at 5:30am to get her into Taylor's French Immersion school. We also got the call early (late May) that Mackenzie had been accepted into French Immersion. So, when primary orientation day came, Mackenzie was VERY confused when I dropped Taylor off but not her. She went to her orientation at Sackville Heights. There were children there from our neighbourhood surprised that she was starting this year and thinking that their child would be attending with Mackenzie. Mackenzie ended her orientation labelling many of the children that she had recently met as her new friends and "in my class." I so wish that the French Immersion school would let the first five or so kids orientate at their desired school. It is so confusing to so many. I wonder how Mackenzie will take it when I drop her off at the French Immersion school in the fall.

Feeding Smokey the Bear 24 May 2009

Forgetting about gymnastics, I pushed the idea to go visit the Oaklawn Zoo in Aylesford. Warren said it was too late to go and it was supposed to rain but went along with us anyway. It rained on the drive down but the weather was cloudy and dry while we were at the zoo and the crowds were down and the animals were out to see. We were finished walking around by 5:30pm and thought we may as well stay for the 6pm feeding. It was a new experience to see the cats fed, and the bears. Smokey the bear came to the front of the cage to take a peppermint from between the trainer/feeder's lips, to stand on his hind legs to reach some meat passed through the fence by a visitor, and took peppermints and peanuts through the fence from anyone who wanted to feed the bear. Taylor and Mackenzie both took turns. Mommy and Daddy weren't interested. Mind you, staying later for the animals' feeding meant were were late feeding ourselves and had supper at Swiss Chalet at 8:30pm, and didn't arrive home until 10:30pm. Way past the girls' bedtime. But what a great visit!

I Loved Him

Mackenzie just wasn't having a good day yesterday. She was trying to do things right and to be helpful but things just kept falling apart. She carried her flower pot and her sister's flower pot of two week old seedlings, tripped and lost the dirt and helpless seedlings on the hot sunny deck. I did fortunately learn of this accident before the plants dried up and died. We were able to replant and water them. Later I discovered that my dish soap had lowered about four inches (I know I'm supposed to think in metric now) and there were lots and lots of bubbles in my kitchen sink, in my dish cloth, dish towel, and... inches away from the sink, in Kenzie's betta bowl. I looked closer and found the betta floating amongst the roots of the plant in his betta habitat. "Kenzie, why are there so many bubbles in your fish's bowl?" I anxiously asked. "I don't know," of course was her reply. I hurriedly changed the water while quizzing Kenzie as to what might have happened and explaining that soap is bad for fish. Once I realised the fish couldn't be saved and was likely suffocating in bubble water for more than two hours (since Kenzie emerged outdoors and smelled of a sweet sent I couldn't identify but thought it might be important), I calmed down and tried to explain a few things. I told Kenzie that it was nice of her to try to clean her fish but as I'm said while changing the bowl water that using soap makes the fish sick. She had been good to him and had fed him every day and had learned not to give him too much food and dirty his water. But the soap had made him die. Next time if she makes a mess or thinks something is wrong to tell me and we might be able to fix it; like we were able to replant the seedlings, we could have changed the fish's water. Kenzie was in a flood of tears and said, "I loved him and I took could care of him." When we picked up Taylor at school, Kenzie was in tears and sniffles again as she explained that her fish had died. Taylor was very consoling, gave her sister a hug, explained that she knew Kenzie was sad and missed her fish, and in the end Taylor even gave Mackenzie her betta fish. At supper, it was tears again. I actually remembered that amongst the pile of library books we had one about dealing with death, "The Berestain Bears lose a Friend." Taylor hurriedly found the book and Mackenzie wanted it read right away. In the book sister bear's fish dies and they make a tombstone from a rock and permanent marker. Kenzie soon disappeared after the story and reemerged with a dirty kid's shovel and the empty container her fish had been in. Taylor and I went outside with Kenzie, at Taylor's asking, to see where the fish had been buried. Kenzie had found a rock and scribbled her message on it. Taylor and I found another flatter rock and I wrote Mackenzie's dictated message onto it: "I loved him. He was the best fish in the whole world. I took good care of him. I miss him." Taylor drew a picture of a fish and a heart before we pushed the rock into the ground next to the expired fish. There were more sniffles the next day but also a request for a rabbit. A rabbit?! Mackenzie claims, "I know all the responsibilities for a rabbit." I don't want to find out.

Do You Think He's Handsome?

Jaime's 30th birthday was approaching so we had to come up with a cake design that would top last year's cauldron in the forest. It also had to be easy as I was working full hours prior to our weekly FCW meeting. Lately Jaime has discovered her fondness for Spock in Star Trek. So I went online looking for a cake design. They were all too complex or not Spock orientated enough. Then I thought I would just make a basic 8*8 square cake. Then I'd put green jello in the center (Vulcan blood is green) and top it with a photo of Spock. In my google images' search for Spock I found a cut and paste on body version that would do the trick; a naked from the groin up photo of Spock. I printed this off and glued it onto wax paper so that the ink wouldn't run. Initially our get together was to be a Jaime's apartment rather than my house. Jaime was worn out that week from finishing school for the year and beginning work and practicum. So the cake went into the freezer for a week and our meeting was at my place the following week with my girls to share in the eating of the cake. Mackenzie was quick to pipe up when the cake was set before Jaime (who had a good laugh about it when she first saw it). "Do you think he's handsome? Are you going to kiss him when you get married? (And without waiting for a reply) Yuck! Kissing is gross." Knowingly Jaime's response, "Oh, you'll change your mind someday."

Little Expert

Last weekend, Mackenzie had her three years old, almost four, cousin over for a sleep over. Being the youngest in our family she will still make baby whimpers for attention and asks people to turn the bathroom light on for her. Well, her more matronly instincts come out around Malachi. Her other cousin, Jake, same age, brings out other instincts which I shall not mention. Mackenzie began taking care of her guest by buckling Malachi into her car seat for the drive to our house. She unbuckled him when we arrived home and then took him by the hand to lead him in. Once inside, she helped him take off his coat and put it where the kids' coats go and she took off his shoes and put them on the shoe mat. Now why doesn't she do that for her own clothing? Yeah, I know, because she can get away with it. She also explained that "Malachi is our guest so he gets to pick what we do." However, I'm not certain that is what was carried out. When he needed the washroom later, she was quick to run to him and ask if he needed the light turned on, pulled over a stool, and turned on the light. I've been had! The next day when it was time to get in the car again, she buckled him up, again. On the car ride, she began to not only care for her cousin but to watch my driving. Little show off. "Mommy, this way," she indicated with her hands, "now this way. That's it! Now go straight. Keep going. Keep going. Be careful. Now stop. (This when the stop sign appeared.) Mommy? Remember when I teached you to drive?" "No. When was that?" I figured this answer was going to be good. "Oh, a long time ago. I teached you so you'll be careful and not crash into another car." Right.... I guess I don't have to worry about her self-esteem. Now how do I teach her that I, as parent, don't always have to say please when asking her to do something, especially when she is misbehaving. Maybe I should ask Mackenzie since she seems to have all the answers. :)

Not Taylor's Fault

Taylor has now completed a year and a half of formal education. It used to be a real struggle to make it to school, and not be too, too late. For the last month we've been able to arrive at the first bell, most of the time. Well, on Thursday past, Mommy was tired from her standing in line at 5:30am to get Mackenzie into French Immersion next year, and Mackenzie was being a four-year old Mackenzie and easily side-tracked, putting on lipstick, changing her skirt three times, and so forth. Taylor got right to business. She packed her lunch into her back pack and got it to the front door, brushed her teeth and put toothpaste on Mommy and Kenzie's tooth brushes, then she got dressed in her snow pants, coat, hat, mitts, etc, before making a pile for Mommy and a pile for Mackenzie. Mommy's coat and shoes and Mackenzie's coat and shoes. Taylor had all this accomplished and was patiently waiting by the door for Kenzie and I to brush our teeth and get ready. No thanks to Mackenzie and I, Taylor arrived after the second that day, but before "Oh Canada" was played. Taylor told us later that someone was sent from Safe Arrival to her classroom to make certain she had made it to class. Hopefully, once Mackenzie starts school, they'll both be as efficient at getting ready in the morning.

Spring Has Sprung

Mackenzie and I were on our drive home from church, enjoying the sounds and sensations of spring. The windows were down for the first time since fall. Taylor was home recovering from strep throat so there was no fighting in the back seat. It was peaceful. Suddenly, Mackenzie pipes up, "Mommy! I just heard a bird singing a love song!" So I tuned in and sure enough, I could hear the birds singing in conjunction with the hum of my winter tires. "I heard another bird!" Mackenzie fell into quiet observation for five minutes and then calmly noted, "I like the breeze. It's re-laxin'." Yes, spring is finally on it's way to Nova Scotia. Mind you two days later there were school closures and our world was again covered in snow. But spring is on it's way. I imagine that mom from the playground on Sunday is wishing she didn't get her tires changed just yet.

Not a Self-Conscious Bone In Her Body

When I arrived at Grammie and Grampy's yesterday to pick the girls up after work, Kenzie was eager for me to come and watch her perform. The girls' true personalities stood out for me more at that time than any other. Taylor sat on the sidelines operating the music, a wind-up, Fisher Price, record player and made the occasional appearance "on stage" to assist her sister. Mackenzie danced, twirled (great twirls), posed, and was spun (standing and carried) by her sister to the music of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." She was very focused and serious about her performance. When asked how she got her twirls that good, she replied, "I've been practicing all day." All day wasn't when I had her with me until 1pm. Mackenzie sat back at one point and announced, "Okay, Taylor, your turn." Taylor looked up shyly from her seat next to the Fisher Price record player. I filled in for her, "I think maybe Taylor prefers to help out." Taylor quickly agreed and Mackenzie, equally quickly, took to the center stage again. Of course, there was more of this performance immediately after Mackenzie finished her supper. And when Grampy didn't arrive right away she went and dragged him into the living room. Ah, where is a camera or camcorder when you need one?

Mommy's Nurse Maid

Mommy was the one sick this time. Fortunately no one else seems to have caught the bug that began with a really sore throat - reminded me of strep because I didn't want to swallow - followed by chills and sweats, congestion that led to a cough as the throat was trying to heal on antibiotics, and then a lack of balance or dizziness as my ears filled up, as well as overall fatigue. Well, after ignoring my little voice for 24 hours, I gave in and visited the walk-in clinic on Monday. Skipping the gym for the usual workout and risking low points for the March Nutrition month competition at work, I went home, put a movie on for Mackenzie and crawled in bed. Well Mackenzie, then took care of Mommy. She brought me two extra pillows and tucked them under my head, brought me a drink of water, took my temperature (only 38.7), gave me a teddy bear to cuddle, made me gargle my throat medicine, pulled up the covers, and gave me a kiss. Two hours later she asked me to come downstairs because she wanted to play. How could I refuse after that great nap and quality care?

"Freckles" by Natasha Bedingfield

I used to care so much about what others think about
Almost didn't have a thought of my own
The slightest remark would make me embark
On the journey of self doubt
But that was a while ago
This girl has got stronger
If I knew then what I know now
I would have told myself don't worry any longer it's OK

[Chorus:]
'cause a face without freckles is like a sky without stars
Why waste a second not loving who you are
Those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable, valuable,
They show your personality inside your heart
Reflecting who you are

Who you are
Who you are
Who you are

I wondered if I could trade my body with somebody else in magazines
Would the whole world fall at my feet?
I felt unworthy and would blame my failures on the ugliness I could see
When the mirror looked at me
Sometimes I feel like the little girl who doesn't belong in her own world
But I'm getting better
And I'm reminding myself

[Chorus]

Reflecting who you are
Reflecting who you are
Hmmm
Whoooooo whoa hmmmm oooooo

[Chorus]

It Makes Me Sad

This year, the empty lot at the entrance of our subdivision was cleared of brush, a driveway entrance put in, and a Christmas tree lot was put up. A trailer with a wood stove moved in, lights were put up, and trees erected. I seldom saw cars there buying Christmas trees. Well Christmas came and went and not even the first of two truck loads of trees sold. The trailer and the "Mieser's Trees" sign disappeared but the trees, tire and tire rim stands, and railing remained. And they remained. Today, two men were there with a wood chipper clearing away the dead trees. It is now 16 March, almost three months after the Christmas tree season ended. I felt it was depressing driving past the lot at least once a day. Even Taylor spoke up last week as we drove by, "it makes me feel sad to see those trees." I wonder if the tree sellers managed to break even. I wonder if they had a part in the clean up or if someone complained enough to their councillor. I did see someone on Friday taking photos of the abandoned lot. I wasn't looking forward to watching the trees turn brown and dropping their needles as the weather warms up; leaving tree skeletons behind. Now it will be less saddening to drive by. I hate to see trees that slowly grew, and were trimmed and cultivated for years, but cut down only to die. I love a real tree in my home but allergies make it necessary to use an artificial tree. And that contributes to the loss of sales for Christmas tree growers and to the increase in needless deaths of living trees that help cleanse our continually polluted air. I imagine Taylor's comment only reflects a small portion of my thoughts that sadden me when I see unappreciated, dead Christmas trees.

Doodlebops Concert

We've been waiting for four years for the Doodlebops to come further east than Ontario so that we could attend a concert. They finally came to Halifax this winter. Warren was able to get advance tickets and we had seats at center isle, row B. Taylor, who's 6 years old, after the concert reported that it was "great! I've never seen the Doodlebops that close before. They look different then how they draw them on television. Rooney's neck is skinnier." She also said that she enjoyed the Doodlebop dancers. She said they had some great moves. But I don't know why we couldn't have seen more of the Doodlebops in the 1.5 hour concert with at 15 minutes intermission (to sell more stuff I suppose). Small children and Kenzie would ask the same questions when the dancers came on, "where are the Doodlebops?" I know that when they came on stage, I was disappointed. We paid $138 for four seats and the group was up of imitators. The Doodlebops weren't THE Doodlebops. It was also typical concert with overpriced condiments that we weren't allowed to take into the auditorium: Chocolate bar for $2, chips for $1.75, and juice for $2; all small sizes. They also had the expensive souvenirs; none under $5. The t-shirts, Rooney toy guitar, and 12 inch Doodlebop dolls were all $20; the light necklaces were $10 and the coloring books were $5. Not surprising. I also heard children besides mine voicing their expectations based on the CBC Get Set For Life Tour; where were the toys to use while you were waiting? But this wasn't being put on by CBC. The Doodlebops are just shown on CBC. But I'll try to keep my thoughts to myself and let the kids enjoy the show from their own perspective; a less cynical one. At least they are old enough to remember this concert, the way I remember going to see Mr. Dress-Up when I was a kid.

Mother's Helper

I'm not certain if it's an older child learned behaviour or a genetically programmed behaviour. Taylor has always been a lot like me personality wise. For example, she likes order. She used to arrange the bubblegum packs in the check out lines; sorting pink with pink and purple with purple. She also has an interest in arranging her room and craft drawers. Mackenzie has no interest in it at all. Taylor is also far better at putting her clothes away; boots on the mat, coat in the coat basket, dirty clothes in the laundry. Better, not perfect. Mackenzie is always coming up with excuses not to: I'm too tired, I can't, you do it, I don't want to... Well, after 1.5 years of Taylor going to school she is used to routine and what needs done to get the three of us out the door in the morning by 8am. At six years old she will usually make her bed (allowance by points helps this) and get dressed in the morning. It takes prompts to get her to brush her hair but she'll show up with a brush and ponytail elastic without being asked. When breakfast is over she disappears only to reappear with all three toothbrushes in hand, with toothpaste on them. And there's two different kinds of toothpaste; the kids' toothpaste and my toothpaste. She is also quite adept at getting her backpack and then dressing without reminders to get snow pants, mitts, hat, scarf, etc. Taylor has also attempted to help Mackenzie along by picking out her coat, hat, and mitts but Mackenzie, being Mackenzie, doesn't want help nor what anyone else has picked out for her. Taylor has also now reached the point where she asks for my car keys so she can go start the car. Of course she is environmentally aware so she doesn't start the car until Mackenzie and I emerge from the house; she doesn't want to waste gas and pollute the earth and drown polar bears but that's another story. Taylor's behaviour could be learned for she is my little helper being the elder child and she likes to please. Her behaviour could also be a result of being motivated to get to school on time. I can't help but wonder what some time at school will do for Mackenzie. We'll find out next year. In the meantime, Taylor is a great help to getting us out the door without the tears and frustrations that once were the norm.

Stubborn by Birth and by Genetics

Mackenzie is a constant challenge to my patience. Last week I was trying to hurry her to get ready to pick up her sister at school and snapped at her when I had to ask her for a third time to hurry up. She crossed her arms, firmly planted her feet, looked me in the eye and said, "Mommy, you didn't say please!" Oh, boy. How do I teach her that there are times when a parent doesn't have to say, "please"? Then Sunday, the girls and I are finally not running late for church and calmly walking across the parking lot watching the gulls circle overhead. Mackenzie stops and announces she sees a baby one while Taylor and I plod on. Next, Mackenzie is screaming at us that we have to wait for her and to come back. It's a struggle of wits as I tell her we are walking slowly, she'll catch up, we won't leave her alone, and so on but she continues to tell us to come back. Finally I tell her I'm not going back and she can catch up if she wants to but we're going. She actually does cave and runs up only to hit me in her usual mad fashion and continues to rave. We manage to get inside and I tell the calm Taylor to get ready and go join Grammie and Grampy. Fortunate that they are usually there so I can remove Taylor from this confrontation. For fifteen minutes, I try to figure out what to do while Mackenzie rips a strip off of me. I try to time out on a nearby chair but it causes more ruckus in the attempt. I try to think of a room to use that wouldn't be a reward and is available. I can't think of one. I finally say I'll have to take her home if she doesn't start behaving. She then says she wants to go home so that threat doesn't hold any weight and I'd have to leave Taylor behind. It would also be difficult but not impossible to get a message to her to come back out or to go with Grammie and Grampy (hopefully they have room in their car or it will be a return trip for me). I also don't want to support they staying home on Sunday mornings that Daddy would so be supportive of. Somewhere in Mackenzie's tantrum she tells me, "Mommy you look silly. I want you to wear dresses." I have no idea where that came from. I know Mackenzie likes to wear dresses and skirts herself but why me? An elder comes over, someone I know well, and starts talking with Mackenzie. He tells her that next time Mommy won't walk ahead without her and it wasn't nice of Mommy to leave her behind. I don't approve of his supporting Mackenzie's side but she calms down and finally she will take off her coat and boots so we can go into the service. I'm disappointed that I missed going up front to put my change into the wooden church money bank for it being my birthday this month. This is my time and I actually remembered to bring change. Mackenzie and I excuse ourselves past two friends to get into the pew next to Grammie and Grampy. We muddle through a song and it's children's time already. Mackenzie goes up for it but is now feeling insecure after our fight and returns to me rather than going up to Sunday School. A few minutes later she wants me to take her to her class and to stay so I miss the entire sermon and arrive back in church for the final prayer. What a day. What a kid. And it's this way with her every day, some days more than others.

Rejection

Things are happening to girls too commonly at an earlier and earlier age. To my six year old Taylor, sleepovers are an event of fun and acceptance. I didn't have my first friend sleep over until I was turning ten. This past weekend I told her she could have someone over Saturday night. Taylor phoned Sarah Friday afternoon and learned that she was going to Grace's birthday party and couldn't come over. Saturday morning before I left for work, Taylor began phoning again. At lunch time she phoned me at work to say Rebbecca was going to Grace's sleepover party and couldn't come. Could she phone Julianna? In my mind I thought, "ouch, rejection, being left out." When I arrived home, she told me that Julianna was going to Grace's sleepover party. Oh dear. She then phoned Parker and no, Parker wasn't allowed to sleep over. Not surprising as she's never been over nor Taylor to Parker's house. This was beginning to remind me of when my then eleven year old step daughter was living with us, phoning friend after friend trying to reach someone available to be with. Taylor then phoned her cousin with whom schedules often don't allow us to spend time together. I had thought their church was no longer being held Saturday night due to relocation and he'd finally be available. Turned out, not yet. Taylor was put out but not as badly as I anticipated. I suppose taking the girls swimming after supper helped. I wonder if Taylor took it personally or understands that it is difficult to find time available when your friend/s are also available. I'll have to ask her later.

Little Motivator

Another day began and the three of us were on our way to drop Taylor off at school. Mackenzie and I were heading for the gym and daycare again. Hey, we were out of the house and nearby anyway... Mackenzie was telling her sister about the "fun" we had the day before packing up Christmas decorations. She took items from me as I had undecorated the plant shelf and handed me boxes for the attic or from the attic for the next batch of decorations. The fun part was that she got to play with the plush Santa again. I started complaining that I wanted to stay home today and be lazy. I had hoped with the forecast of freezing weather would create a storm day (they closed school at 11:30am, prematurely in my opinion). Mackenzie added her two cents: "Mommy, grownups need exercise to stay healthy and to get strong." Oh... I thought, I guess she has been listening to my ramblings. But at least she hasn't learned to focus on weight, just yet. Way to go my little motivator!

I Don't Want It!

This is the first year that Christmas actually meant something to my three year old; Santa who gives presents and presents. Unfortunately this present fixation is fed by the fact that her birthday is the week after Christmas. Yahoo. Also, being young, she wants some unusual gifts, like a rainbow mommy goose. Mrs. Claus had to do some sewing for that; $2.00 and 6 hours later she had one and a favorite, so far, of Mackenzie's. She also asked for purple bubblegum which I have yet to find. And a crawling My Lil'Pony that she put in her toy box Christmas night, not in her bed with the Webkinz. And I swear she asked for a Baby Alive. I rushed out to get one in October when they were on sale from $59 to $48 and tucked it away. In late November I discovered that they were now selling for $30. What?! and Ouch! Of course there's a no returns after 20 days policy. I could likely get around that after Christmas. Anyhow, Christmas morning arrives. Taylor wakes at 7:11am and crawls in with Daddy and I. She ignored the presents under her tree in her room and she patiently waits for Mackenzie to get up at 7:40am. Mackenzie then goes through her gifts like the Tasmanian Devil; dumping out her stocking in the middle of Taylor's bedroom floor while Taylor goes through her bedroom gifts, then ripping open anything with an "M" on it under the tree. From time to time she'd stop and spin around asking, "where's another present for me? There's no more presents for me?" Well, she excitedly gave her goose a hug and a kiss saying, "Me love it! It's so soft!" And she excitedly said that the crawling pony was, "just what me wanted" before tossing it aside and moving on. Well, she tore open her Baby Alive doll, just had the front paper torn off, took a peek at what it was and tossed it down in disgust as only Mackenzie can express it, "I don't want that! I don't like babies!" Well the poor doll sat to the side of the living room, in the box until boxing day. I had been thinking I might get my $15 back after all and take the doll to the store, it was a Christmas present and yes I have the receipt. As I folded the clothes in the bedroom wondering when returns were permitted, Taylor came in and asked if she could have the doll. I suggested we could take it to the store and get the crawling pony she wanted and didn't receive and still have money left over. Taylor paused considering her options, "no, I want the doll. I'll take good care of it." Well I thought this could be dangerously interesting. So we unpacked the doll undoing all the twist ties and tape and so on. Taylor then set about feeding the doll that came with only two diapers and two packages of food. Mackenzie surprisingly only wanted to have a turn feeding the doll and then moved on. Taylor on the other hand has been quite attentive to her doll and will talk to it as it talks to her and rushes around trying to attend it's every request. I had to tell her that she could put it down and it would go to sleep and give her a break. Taylor will have to give her a name after all, all her new Webkinz received names. Daddy asked what we should get to replace Mackenzie's present. I told him not to worry about it. She should learn to take what she gets and has too much anyway, plus there's more gifts in her future with a birthday around the corner.

Goodbye to a Good Friend

During Thanksgiving weekend 1991, my sister Andrea gave me an early Christmas present, a black, 8 month old kitten with white down his nose and white on his paws. The summer before we had put our 13 year old cat to sleep after he got into antifreeze and his kidneys shut down and my 7 month old grey tiger-striped kitty had disappeared. My sister had rescued yet another cat as this one had been dumped in a ditch. This new feline acquired the name "Ajax" from a Shakespearean play I was reading for English literature at the time. Perhaps ironically, Ajax wasn't the black character in the play "Othello". Ajax came to live with me in my first ever apartment and got to know my friends, roommates, boyfriend, and pet fish at that time. Three years later he travelled from Marc's apartment to our old apartment when I moved without him into a no cats apartment. He somehow survived travelling the main street of Wolfville during this search. His collar tag helped someone nearby to get in touch with me. After exploring my new apartment he was okay with residing elsewhere. Ajax stayed with me while I graduated three times from university (I went back and got my honors when I didn't get into the Bachelor of Education program right away).

Ajax and I moved back home to mum and dad's when I graduated for the last time in 1994. He was with me through the break up of my boyfriend of five years. He also gave me comfort as I struggled to get a teaching job and substitute taught for seven years. Three years later, in late 1997, he moved with me into an apartment in a 100 year old home. He gave me love and companionship as I lived for the first time, alone and single, for three years. He would greet me at the door no matter the hour, he would snuggle with me and keep me warm at night, and he comforted me when I was sick or feeling very much alone. In 2000, he moved in with mum and dad again while I stayed in a cat-free apartment before getting married in 2001. He lived with me again after I married. We lived at that location for just over a year before moving again into my first home (that I choose) and a week before the birth of my first child, Taylor. Ajax kept me company through all those late night nursings and frustrations of a new mother with an infant that isn't nursing well. He was also with me while my step-daughter lived with us for 11 months in 2003. Ajax lived with us in Lucasville through Taylor's birth and growth until I was pregnant with my second child, Mackenzie.

I am allergic to cats. A discovery I learned after I already had Ajax for awhile. I was advised to give him away as I was highly allergic to cats and that he could still live for quite a while. Warren is also asthmatic. To top things off, I wasn't to be near kitty litter while I was pregnant and Warren - mister anti-cats - wasn't going through another nine months of kitty litter duty. I tried to find Ajax a new home and in the end mum and dad adopted him. Three years later or during this past year he developed hyper-thyroid and lost his hearing. He went down hill health wise rapidly. Apparently Dad wasn't ready to let him go and Mum continued to pay for his medicine at $80 a month until this past week. Ajax stopped eating last weekend and had a visible growth on his leg that he kept chewing at. Monday 22 December 2008 at 4:40pm, I took the girls with me to meet mum at the vet. We all went in the exam room to pet him and say, "goodbye." Then mum stayed with him for the needle and we returned shortly afterwards to say, "goodbye" again. I fell apart when I wasn't expecting to but Ajax had been my comfort and friend for years. I also won't be getting another cat to ease the transition. Mackenzie said it was scary but now she won't be asking constantly where is Ajax as she did when Maddy died past spring. Taylor said it was sad and had a lot of questions going to the vet and since then, mainly around how sad am I and how sad she is. I found comfort when Taylor reflected the words I had spoken to her earlier as I tried to explain why we were putting Ajax to sleep or killing him, letting him die, "his medicine wasn't helping any more, so he won't hurt any more." She also added her own thoughts, "and now he's in heaven with Jesus." I would also like to add that she also asked me why we don't do that for people, let them die when their medicine isn't working any more and they are in pain. Good question, don't you think?

Grammie, I need money

Mackenzie never has no likely ever will be known as subtle. While shopping yesterday for Angel tree gifts, Santa was spotting in his large chair, waving at girls and boys. Mackenzie started walking right up the red carpet until I stopped her and said we should ask Grammie if we could borrow some money because I didn't have any cash. Taylor hung back a bit not sure what to do. While I was telling her of our cash dilemma, Santa picked out two reindeer antler hats and candy canes and waved her forward. Taylor didn't hesitate then and went up to Santa, excited at his gifts. Mackenzie then returned with a twenty dollar bill, gave the money to me and went up to see Santa and what Taylor had. Santa put together the hats for the girls and was fitting them on when the photographer asked him to wait as we'd like to get a photo. I had been chatting with the photographer. The girls sat pleased as punch, for the first time ever, on Santa's knee. As there was no line up they had quite a chat as well. Taylor keeps reminding Mackenzie that she told Santa that she would be good until Christmas eve. Taylor also adds that she told Santa that she would try her best because we all make mistakes sometimes. - Grammie appeared later and explained that Mackenzie had found her in the Dollarstore, came right up and abruptly said, "Grammie, we need money." I don't think I've ever not been afraid of Santa, a stranger in a stranger beard. I also don't think I've ever been that bold asking for money. Who is Mackenzie related to anyway?

Serious Adult Conversation

I had to smile yesterday as I watched my two girls playing make believe. Mackenzie was seated on her wooden chair beside the coffee table, pretending to sip her tea from her toy china cup, "...and you'll be my sister forever" was the end statement I caught as I tuned in. Taylor was standing, the skirt of her dress pulled up to show her striped tights. She held her baby kitty stuffy to her breast as she looked at Mackenzie and continued in a serious tone, "does it hurt your nipples when you feed your baby milk?" Mackenzie replied in an equally serious tone, "yes, me do!" I have come to understand just how much children hear when you think they can't hear you from the other room. I also realise that, at least in this case, this isn't a bad thing. From observing my sister and I my girls have learned a lot such as a) nursing one's own baby and some realistic expectations such as pain being involved yet still its still being a good thing for Mommy and baby and b) sisters are great to talk to about anything.

Babies

The pregnancy of my sister with her third child has raised a lot of questions, formulations, and memories (either real or unreal) from my eldest. While driving to the hospital tonight to visit our newest addition, Josiah, Taylor started talking to Mackenzie about being in my belly. She told Mackenzie that when she was in Mummy's belly that she talked to her. Taylor also asked Mackenzie if she remembered being in Mummy's belly and Taylor talking to her. Taylor said she told her, "hi, baby." Mackenzie piped up and added with her side of the story, "and I said hi. Hi, Taylor" in a babyish voice. - Later Taylor repeated to Andrea what I had explained to her, that babies can hear the voices of people around them when they are in their mummy's tummy and then they aren't scared when they come out of their mummy's tummy.

Another One?

For today's tale I will start with some background information: my sister is expecting her third child any day now. This pregnancy has found her in Nova Scotia and my girls and I have been able to observe Andrea's growing belly and with permission, even touch her belly. Sunday, Mackenzie was on the couch with Andrea quite interested in where the baby was in her belly and pushing her little hand into Andrea's belly along side of Andrea's (and sometimes my) hand. This morning, as kids do, out of the blue, Mackenzie announces with certainly, "Mommy you're going to have a baby. And you and Daddy will go to the hospital and come home with a baby. And it'll be so..... cute. And I will have a little brother or little sister. I can't wait." My heart ached for her as I too once wanted a little brother or sister and I once thought I would have three children of my own. I only told her, "I don't think Mommy will be having any more babies." I didn't tell her, of course, about finances of raising children, birth control methods, or possible complications related to my recently found abnormal cells (further tests will tell). She doesn't need to know those aspects of life just yet. I wonder how she will be with her new cousin when he or she arrives.